Parent’s Getting Divorced

Today it seems my kids see more parents getting divorced than having lasting marriages. Their concern is very real and causing even more stress for children today.  My daughter Abigail asked me about this during a conversation we were having on the way to her dance class.

“Dad, You and Mom aren’t getting divorced, right?”

The conversation came up because one of my wife’s college friends was over visiting and she was going through the process of getting divorced. My children in the past have indicated to me how concerned they are about divorce and glad we’re not getting divorced. Divorce seems like a very real possibility in 50%  to 60% of families these days.

I explained to Abigail that we stay committed to the family even if the road gets bumpy. Your mom and I have a strong commitment to keeping our family together.  Specifically for our children, no matter what.  We are both of the mind that our family unit is more important than we are as individuals.

I went on to tell Abigail that the relationship that her mother and I have is like a garden.  The garden that is our life and family stay together.  If mom and I get so busy working, driving kids around, paying the bills, etc. and we forget to water parts of the garden.  Its like our relationship, that garden dries up and no longer does it part for the whole garden. Abigail commented ,”So that’s why mom and you need time together and why we should respect that. And why you and mom need to go on dates and stuff right dad?” ” Yes”, I replied. “Your mother and I’s  time spent together in meaningful ways is the way in which we nurture our relationship, which makes our family stronger.”

Familiar Story?

A common scenario I’ve encountered over the years talking to other tradesmen goes something like… The guy starts his company grows it really large ,gets really busy making money only to completely lose track of his relationship with his wife.  Maybe, lose connection with his kids and then realize after his divorce how foolish he was. Wasn’t it his family that he was doing it all for in the first place? How did he lose sight of that? And what does any amount money matter without the love of your family?

So, Where to Focus?

• Keep your eye always on the big picture as well as the smaller pictures in between.
• Don’t let things that matter least get in the way of things that matter most.
• Remember to take stock of and prioritize what matters most.
• Nurture and water the gardens in your life that support the overall big picture of your
  life long garden.
• Focus on how it’s going to grow year after year and support you and the people that
  matter in your family and community garden.  Be real about what you can handle (stress level) and be aware of how much life force energy you have.  This is in terms of time energy and talent and be sure to direct those energies in the directions that matter most.

JoyfulEasy Recommended Reading…

Men Are from Mars, Women Are from Venus: The Classic Guide to Understanding the Opposite Sex

Men Are from Mars, Women Are from Venus: Practical Guide for Improving Communication (e-book)