The Fun Boat

The Fun Boat is a fun conversational story I use for getting my kids behaviour in alignment with what I and ultimately they, are wanting. Likewise, it helps in getting their cooperation. Consequently, I have the Fun Boat conversation with my kids quite often. As an illustration, I say to them, “Imagine that we and our home and all the things we do together are like us in a big boat.” Alternatively, When we are on a long road trip together our Nissan Pathfinder is our “Boat”. I called this boat The Fun Boat.

The Fun Boat or The Sad Boat?

Recently, my family and I did a two-week road trip that required major cooperation. Specifically, we travelled from Vancouver Island to Disneyland in Anaheim California, then to Hollywood and Universal Studios. From there, we worked our way back towards home on the Pacific Coast Hiway. Additionally, we took in a Rail buggy tour at the Oregon Sand Dunes. Furthermore, we stopped in to check out Cannon beach before heading home. Believe me, when you have four kids in a car for that big of a trip, cooperation is key to a good time. Stay tuned, I’ll keep the best part for the end of the article.

So, before we set out on a day’s adventure or just getting our chores done, we talk about the fun boat. We talk about where and how we want the boat to go.  On the other hand, we talk about where and how we don’t want the fun boat to go.

Charting a Course

So, where the hell are we going? I don’t like setting out for a bad time. Do you? In addition to that, I don’t like wasting my time. For this reason, I look at charting a course as taking aim. Thus, when I speak to my children about the fun boat, I talk to them about choice and aim.  Therefore, I asked them where do we want this fun boat to go, somewhere happy or somewhere sad? Also, I will ask do we want this boat to be going somewhere cool or somewhere that sucks?

Experiencing the Journey

A big part of the fun boat is the journey and the experience of making the boat go where we want. Knowing this, I asked my kids what kind of sounds and sites and feelings do they want to experience on the fun boat? For example, I’ll ask them, does it sound like laughter and supporting each other? Or does it sound like whining and complaining and yelling? Additionally, I’ll ask, Do you see smiles and kindness or frowny angry faces? Consequently, the answer I get resoundingly is, we want it to be fun, we want to hear happy sounds and see smiles.

Paddle the Boat

Everyone on the fun boat has a job to do. Furthermore, I represent this with the metaphor of pulling your paddle to make the boat go in the right direction. I then describe to them a situation where someone is paddling backwards. Likewise, another example is if someone takes their paddle and starts hitting the other crew members in the head with it or just flailing your paddle. I then ask them, what will happen in these different scenarios. Of course, the answer is obvious. As a result, The Fun Boat gets rocky and goes off course. The kids get it. I then go on to ask them what it looks like for them to be paddling properly and in the right direction. Additionally, I ask them to describe that scenario.

Don’t Flail Your Paddles

When you flail your paddles, it makes the journey suck, and the boat ends up in the wrong place.  As such in our house, it is a common saying. “Don’t flail your paddles.”, or, “You’re flailing your paddle!”  I then remind them what it is we’re trying to do and where it is, we’re trying to go and what kind of experience we want to have. Secondly, I asked them to describe what it is that they can do to help us have that experience and make the fun boat go that way.

Pulling In the Right Direction

So, what does it look like feel it sound like when you’re pulling in the right direction? How do you act? What are the sounds? More importantly, what is the feeling that you feel holding this fun and good attitude? As I talk to the kids, I talk about these feelings and behaviours as an example for pulling in the right direction; Helpful, cooperative, fun, supportive, courageous, energetic, and, on the ball, I also go on to describe the opposite. These being; lazy defensive critical, whiny, cowardly, apathetic. And this way the kids have a clear picture of what to move towards and what to move away from in terms of their behaviour.

Your Own Boat

We are also the captain of our own one-man boat. Above all, let’s make our own boat as fun as can be. Furthermore, our own boat also merges with your family boat,  organizational, community, and work boat.  So, you have to paddle your own fun boat as well as the overall bigger boats that you may be crewing on or captain of. Consequently, you have to know your role and how best to do your job and what paddling and or steering the boat looks like in each situation.

Captains Log

Therefore, It’s good to log or journal your past day on the boat. What were your roles that day? Furthermore, how did you fill those roles?  What things went right and why? What things went wrong and why?  Additionally, what will you do today to make it an even better day on your Fun Boat?

Amazingly Cool Results!

I’m stoked on an unexpected result from our two week California road trip. When we arrived home the kids my wife and I were able to unpack and clean out the car, unload all the suitcases, and put clothes away etc in record time. In spite of, being cooped up in a car for hours.  Specifically, it took an hour and a half. Even my 5-year-old son put all his clothes away in his dresser by himself. This level of cooperation and teamwork was amazing. We weren’t trying to rush or anything either. In retrospect, I attribute this to functioning closely together for a prolonged period of time with a common intention. Specifically, The fun Boat of our road trip together.

In conclusion, please feel free to use the power of The Fun Boat story when you are trying to get your family and or team on track.

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