Being understood is more of a feeling than it is a reality.
Do you ever feel like nobody understands you?
What is it, to feel like you are being understood? Moreover, can we really expect to be truly understood? To be truly understood in absolute terms, on an emotional level is most unlikely. As such, this is my hypothesis; that a feeling of understanding is something you can give or be given rather than an expectation, you have of others to understand you completely.
A feeling of understanding is a gift you give someone else by how you listen with care and relate to them. If you were to say to me, “I just don’t understand you”. I ‘d have to say that’s OK with me. How could you truly understand me? You don’t live in my skin. You don’t have my unique history. Also, you do not have my disposition. Therefore, how can I expect you or anyone to fully understand me and how I see the world and the situation as I do?
It’s All About Connection
Although, on an emotional level I would feel the disconnect. Because you said, you don’t understand me. So, it’s also about connection to feel like you are being understood. There is basic human psychology behind this feeling.
As such I look at understanding as a feeling that is given. This feeling is given by the care you put into the way you listen to others and how you respond to them. Furthermore, it is an attitude and energy you have about you, that relates to the other person, that you care about how they feel. You don’t necessarily agree with them about whatever it is they are talking to you about. However, you are willing to be the space for them to explore their situation. In short, you’re being a good listener and perhaps adding some ideas or insights that might help them.
A Gift You Can Give
It feels good to make someone feel like they are being understood. As well, it feels good to feel like you are being understood. However, knowing that understanding isn’t an absolute, allows you to cut yourself and others some slack. The old saying goes like this. The best way to cheer yourself up is to cheer someone else up. The reason this is so is that if you are able to put yourself aside and cheer someone else up, it sends a powerful message to your subconscious that you are full, that you are ok, and that you have something to give. Similarly, this is so with understanding others. I know I feel a lot better when I feel I’m being understood. This is empowering the best side of yourself. Your higher self.
“I’d Feel The Same Way If I Were You”
You can feel honest about this approach. Moreover, you can say,” If I were you, I’d feel the same as you do.” You can say this honestly because if you were them you would obviously see it the same way they do. And even if you don’t see it their way, you are still being honest because you are not them.
Accessing Your Higher Self
To open yourself up enough to give a feeling of understanding is opening yourself up to your higher self. As I’ve mentioned before, this higher self is you at your best. As such your higher self has a much broader point of view, is non-judging and is good for you. Also, accessing your higher self and giving the feeling of being understood, is a way in which you can serve others. Furthermore, the space that this feeling creates allows us and others to grow and evolve. Who knows you may even learn something new or at least benefit from someone sharing their experience.
